Tell them what to expect. -
It's important to tell your child all about the new baby. Explain to him or her that the baby is in Mommy's belly, and that soon, the baby will come out of Mommy's belly and you will all be able to see and hold him. Let your child know any important things, such as who he or she will be with when the baby is being born. It will help them to deal with the situation when they are prepared for what is to come, and how things are going to work.
Make sure your child knows that the baby is his or hers also -
Making sure your child feels connected to the new baby is an important step. This will start a bonding even before the new baby is born. Tell your child what a good big brother or sister (s)he is going to be. Explain to them that they will help take care of the new baby, help teach the baby, and that the baby will look up to them. This kind of communication will help to ensure that your child doesn't take a defensive state of mind toward the new baby. Your child won't think of the new baby as a threat to his time with Mom and Dad, or to Mom and Dad's love for him. He will be more concerned with taking care of the baby, and excited about it's arrival.
Spend as much
It's a new experience for your child, and you want to be there for support. Schedule times to read with him or her, watch movies, go for walks, or other fun things. These would be good times to ask your child if (s)he has any questions about the baby. You could read stories related to older children and new babies, and this is another way to communicate with your child. This is just as important after the baby is born. Make sure there is time for you, the older child, and the baby to be together, and also time for just you and the older child. You could give your spouse important bonding time with the new baby, while you reinforce your older child's feeling of security and love, and then switch, so each parent has time with each child.
Be careful when scolding your child around the new baby -
If you find that your older child is being rough or overly excited about the baby, scolding him or her may reinforce negative feelings about the new baby. Instead, try telling the child that until the baby grows as big and strong as (s)he is, you will have to be gentle and careful. Make sure the child knows that it's his job also to help protect and take care of the baby until it grows bigger and stronger.
What's most important is that you and your family use the new baby experience to grow closer together, and that you are all happy and content. These tips should help you to accomplish that.
Patricia Bennett publishes a website of resources on this subject. www.bestadoptionhelp.com
