Family history research has gained in popularity at about the same rate as genealogical resources have gone online. Hundreds and thousands of websites and online databases now hold millions of records that can be accessed with just a click and, sometimes, a subscription. No wonder so many beginner genealogists believe all they have to do to find their ancestors is grab their credit card and turn on a computer.
But if you speak to many successful genealogists (and probably a good few not so successful genealogists, too) you will hear that their biggest mistake was not delaying going online or not failing to invest in the best family tree software imaginable. Their number one regret is that they didn't seek out and sit down with every one of their elderly relatives and quiz their recollections about people and events, listen to their stories, and ask them to identify the people and locations in all the unlabelled photographs in the family album.
No matter how many genealogy records are online, there is never likely to be a better resource than your own relatives for the facts and colour that reveal your family's story through the ages. These are the people who knew your ancestral characters first-hand, who heard the family tales while sitting at their grandfather's knee or who witnessed the pivotal or momentous events that occur in most generations.
So if you've decided to get serious about your family research, it's time to get talking to your relatives. Older relatives should be your priority because they are usually the best source of stories that date furthest back, but don't overlook younger family members. They may well have heard stories from an older generation that may now have passed away.
Approach the subject of an interview carefully. Tell the relative that the interview will be a time to chat about fond memories and tales. Reassure them that you want to hear their stories, their feelings about people and events, and you're not expecting dates, names and places. If your relative is really reluctant, suggest another person comes in on the interview - perhaps their spouse or child - to relieve some of the their anxiety about being put on the spot.
Let them see a list of your questions in advance. This ensures they have a chance to prepare, but let them know that it's perfectly okay to not answer a question. They don't have to give a reason.
The face-to-face interview is always easier for both parties, and often yields better results in terms of storytelling. Such a meeting may not be possible with each of your relatives, in which case opt for a telephone interview. Either way, be sure to follow the tips below for a successful interview:
Arrange a date and time in advance and be punctual. Send your questions and any photos/documents you want to discuss, in advance. If phoning, accept the cost of the call (your relative may give abrupt answers if he/she is mindful of the phone bill). Record the conversation. Cheap gadgets are available. Using them allows you to concentrate on what your relative is saying rather than you struggling to keep up while making notes. Don't interrupt silences. Give your relative time to think. Keep the interview to one hour, maximum. Schedule a follow up call if necessary. Send a thank you note or gift after the interview.
A successful interview will bring you plenty of wonderful stories and details, may clear up mysteries, and may provide valuable clues for later investigation. So if you're starting out on your family tree research (or even if you're already further along!), don't head straight to the computer. It can wait. Chatting with great aunt Ellen, Grandad Scully and second cousin James cannot.
Claire Santry is editor of Irish Genealogy Toolkit, a free tutorial for Irish genealogy and heritage.
Find out how to start researching your family history in Ireland or get more advice about finding family history through relatives.
